*Chogyam Trungpa. Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism.

Today, we address the common habit of complaining, which habitually done evidences habitual self-centeredness - even selfishness in our religious practice.

Literally, “to complain” means “to strike the breast with.” Now, clearly, we do not go around beating our chest in disgust - at least, not in public. We have other, less tangible ways to gripe, to express general dissatisfaction with life, others, or situations that do not please us. In fact, we might be surprised if we saw how we have mastered skills at being fussy and manipulative of others.

Now, maybe you are not one of the fussy characters. Yet, we each bemoan unnecessarily. Most of us do it more than we would like to have to confess. This is to say: Most of us are more selfish than we dare admit.

Jude describes persons out of sync with the spiritual Life. They are gripers. Why? They want life to fit their wishes. They live for one reason – to satisfy their desires. While not being content with life around them, they are braggarts about themselves. This is a cover-up for discontent with themselves. To fill that inner hole of discontent, lack of self-worth, and fear of insufficiency, what do they do? Flatter others to get what they want. A self-focus dictates their inner and outer thoughts and feelings, and relationships. They will feign putting others first really to put themselves first.

Let us not be quick to judge these persons. We see these things in others, but we can miss such in ourselves. Blessed are persons who have seen how selfish and complaining, and ungrateful, even so-called good persons can be, and have confessed and sought to be less that way themselves.

Little Jenny sat down to eat dinner with her family. She looked at the leftovers and said, “Hey, wait a minute. We thanked God for this last night!”

*Kent Crockett. I Once Was Blind But Now I Squint.

Complaining may be one of the – if not the – chief evidences of selfishness among professing Christians. Even in regard to God, what do we do when we are called to endure aridity in prayer or service? What do we do when our love apparently goes unappreciated? Ignored? What do we do when no one commends us for our sacrifice? Often, we gripe. We wonder what is wrong. And, all this, as though we are entitled to get a candy bar from god daddy.

All this as though being spiritual is supposed to be easy, as though God owes us heavenly bliss without pain for our supposed unselfish devotion. All this as though others are to be expected to put garlands around our necks for the service we give them. All this when Jesus called us to be servants and die to ourselves, and we want the blue-ribbon-special treatment.

On the spiritual Path, sooner or later, we must come face to face with how even spiritually gluttonous and entitled we can act. In fact, we might discover we are more like a little fussy child than a disciple of Jesus.

Giving thanks is an antidote to the fussiness and self-centeredness so dominant in our society and, yes, in our churches. Persons, now, generally go to worship with their unspoken attitude: “I am here to get what makes me happy.” So, they want the sermon, the music, the people, the teachings, the rites, … to fit their desires – including the hair-do and attire of the cleric – not them be shaped by the imperfections of spiritual community into a more unselfish, less bemoaning, and more Christian human being.

Rather than bellyaching, practice thanks. You may say, “Well, what if I do not feel like giving thanks?” Do it, anyway. How can you and I expect to be Christlike, inner and outer, if we do not choose to be so again and again? How can we learn gratitude, become habitually grateful, if we do not express it when we do not feel it? If you want to feel grateful, start giving thanks. Do not wait for the feeling to give thanks. Right in the midst of all you can grumble about, start expressing thankfulness.

Jenny provides us a picture of ourselves. “Sure,” - to all of us 'Jennys' - “give thanks, for while you have leftovers, at least you have food and someone to share it with.” That is more than many persons have. And, possibly, Spirit sends us through certain experiences to teach us Love is not about getting what I want, but learning how to find myself in the gratefulness of giving and serving without me in the spotlight.